HELP!!! they have looted my LOOT!!!!!

culled from thisday newspaper, sunday october 7, 2007.

Dear President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua: with a very proud and humble heart, i write this petition to you. My name is Chief Joshua Chibi Dariye, former governor of plateau state- although, to be modest i need no introduction, either locally or internationally. I am well known in the UK. The metropolitan police know me very well like their uniforms. The real estate and property companies know me. The banks are my customers or, rather i'm their customer. The judges are very familiar with me. The immigration officials are my pals. The journalists treat me like a movie star.
But that is not why i am writing you this petition Mr President. I write to inform you that i have been robbed. One of the things you promised to address as president is crime. You want to bring the security situation under control in order to attract foreign investment. Yet, under your very nose, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, better known in the streets as EFCC has conspired with the London police to loot my hard-earned loot. This is very painful and humiliating and against the rule of law and due process which is the sing along melody of this administration.
To start with, is it an easy thing to loot? that is one issue many Nigerians are deliberately avoiding. To loot you need a good brains, extremely wonderful accountants and bankers. To move the loot abroad, you need diplomatic immunity. To purchase property abroad, you go through the extremely arduous task of flipping through brochures and internet websites. Then after i had laboured so hard to loot my state treasury and add value to the looting, i got embarassed, arressted and charged to court in a foreign land. And when i mistakenly jumped bail i was declared a wanted man. This is unfair
Now i will go straight to the point. Recall Mr President, that recently, british authorities returned N29.3 million to the coffers of the federal government, claiming that was what i looted. Its a lie! I looted more than that or should i say, the loot they seized was more than that. The seized more than N770 million loot and they have only returned N29 million. This is dishonesty. I hate dishonesty. It is the major reason why Nigeria is not making progress. We are complaining that Nigeria is under developed. How can Nigeria develop when we don't have simple honesty among government officials?
This is my suspicion which i want you to treat as an allegation. EFCC the met police have conspired to keep a large chink of the loot to feather their own nests at the expense of the national treasury. This is absolutely unacceptable. This is an attempt to rob Nigeria blind in the name of anti-corruption. This act of injustice shall not stand, Mr. President. There is certainly a difference between N770 million and N29.3 million. Don't forget, Dear President, that i am an accountant by profession and should kno the what i am talking about when we are discussion naira and kobo, or pound and penny.